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Writer & Book Blogger. I write about Personal Growth & Relationships and spend too much time online eating books for breakfast. https://koji.to/rilu

Living in a “no man's” land gave me power.

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“How wrong is it for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself?”- Anais Nin

My mother always tells me “learn to do everything so you won’t need anyone” and sure, she might drop the bomb whenever she’s fixing things my father is too busy to get his hands on — like a leaking sink or that bloody heater that nearly froze us to death, Titanic-style — but after a few “I’ve got it” or “I’ll think about it later” from men more interested in their soccer games than their…


I wish I started sooner

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I’ve been writing on Medium for quite a while now and yet, I feel like I’m only now considering myself a Medium writer.

The shift happened slowly and then all at once when I decided to follow the idea that you have to actually publish every single day to see some changes.

Armed with a pen, notebook and my trusty laptop, this is exactly what I did.

For three weeks straight.

I was so scared at first, because as much as I love writing — and I love it probably more than anything else in the world — I genuinely…


And it’s not what you think.

photo by Jeffery Erhunse on Unsplash

If you’re dedicated to becoming an author, nothing I can say here will stop you. But if you’re not, nothing I can say will make you one.Chuck Palahniuk

At age nine, I was told to write an essay about my summer, as a first assignment after the three-month vacations away from school.

But at nine years old, either nothing exciting really happens or everything feels like a magical adventure and as far as Italian holidays go, in my life nothing worth writing about really happened — there wasn’t a Timothèe Chalamet to romanticise my bike rides or those…


Let me take my feminist badge off for a sec

photo by Cesira Alvarado on Unsplash

There are some golden movies that all of us love and that, no matter the time, will always be relevant, punching us right in the feels.
Like Casablanca or Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

I still dance to The Time of My Life every time the radio blesses us all with an oldie but goldie — whilst also trying to force someone to catch me mid-air, Jennifer Grey style. And I can’t stop my tears from wiping away the remains of my foundation every damn time that E.T score makes its way into my ears.

As we’re all finding comfort in the…


The trauma of the Millennial generation

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

I was making the best of my summer holidays on the balcony with a book when the neighbour’s kids showed up, smartphones in hand, discussing the latest Gigi Hadid’s outing.

Look how gorgeous she is!” one would say, followed by the “omg! she’s so thin! I wish I looked like her” from one of the chubbier girls, eyes glistening, already seeing herself wearing nothing more than crop tops without the fear of embarrassment.

Do you remember what it feels like to meet with friends in the neighbourhood, for a soccer game or a hide and seek that lasted all day…


I’m tired of people’s emotional burdens

photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Don’t let it be said that I haven’t used lockdown wisely: I tried working out — and decided I better leave it to other people — I baked. Loads. My love handles would like to discuss it further but I never let them talk. They steal enough of my energy every time I try to put on a pair of jeans that used to fit.

I cleansed my wardrobe — twice! — and got rid of anything that didn’t spark joy — or, more realistically, didn’t fit anymore.

I read memoirs — which were as boring as I expected them…


How to paint a home inside ourselves

photo by Dmitriy K. on Unsplash

“For a moment I felt joyful, and then I felt completely exhausted.” — Ottessa Moshfegh

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good amount of free time, must be in want of something to do.

Sorry, Jane Austen, but since this woman has no intention of waltzing to the altar any time soon, she had to re-adjust your very famous first line and make it modern-day appropriate.

We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we? From sneaking outside for a quick run to the near supermarket, on tiptoes, through ghost towns, to streets full…


When working feels impossible

photo by Arif Riyanto on Unsplash

A few weeks ago my brain broke.

It happened all of a sudden: my hands started shaking uncontrollably and it was like my body wasn’t responding to me anymore.

It was scary and for the first time in my life, I saw my anxiety taking over, leaving me on the bed, nothing more than a tired vessel shattered on the ground.

So I did what every sane and scared person would do in these cases: I trusted Google with my diagnosis and the results were even more terrifying.

In the span of ten minutes, my body went from being perfectly…


How to make friends in the modern world.

photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

My recent breakup with my best friend left me with a hole that needs to be filled and a lot of questions that need answers to.

How exactly do you make new friends as an adult?

This question has been haunting me for a long time now, basically since I finished High School and traded it for adulthood.

I have friends in my life, of course, but they’re all connected to my previous experiences, mostly to school.

There’s a huge variety of people you meet in your life, depending on the situation you find yourself in: school friends and then…


Life in quarantine wasn’t that bad after all

photo by Simona Todorova on Unsplash

Do you remember how putting on a pair of jeans was just like drinking water? Easy and quite satisfying? Well, that was a long time ago, wasn’t it?

Life in quarantine made us see our priorities straight, and apparently, getting dresses each day to look somewhat put together, wasn’t one of them.

I mean, why defying gravity when you could easily stay braless all day and let science do its thing?

We adapted quite quickly, moving our laptops in bed, carving spaces around the house for zoom calls. …

Marilù Iacona

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